Beauty.

I´ve just returned from a trip to Azua to buy a new pair of pants. The old ones were torn twice in two different soccer games. The new pair cost a bit too much, something like 30 dollars, ut they are nice. It seems like there are two choices for clothing, charity clothing sold at dirt cheap prices in back street markets, or really nice stuff at US prices.

People here are incredibly well dressed when not working in the field. I don´t know how they do it, yet a lot of the young people manage to maintain clothing-model-level classiness and cleanliness while feeding animals, using outhouses, and sleeping in houses with dirt floors and palm roofs.

To me the Dominican people are beautiful, from the darkest to the lightest. The weird thing is that they can appreciate individual beauty between themselves and within their borders, but refuse to think of themselves as beautiful in a humanity-wide context.

I was talking to an older lady when she said a couple of disturbing things. ¨You Americans are beautiful, all of you, and you´re all tall too. Us Dominicans are very ugly. We´re all brutes too. You´re all intelligent!¨

Obviously I did my best to point out the inaccuracies of this statement, but I´m sure I did little to change a peception so deeply embedded.

Where does the idea come from that dark skin is ugly, Americans are beautiful, and that the US is a paradise? I hate to oversimplify, but I´m going to blame the tv, and novellas of course.

Due to the sheer amount of TV being watched, I´ve seen more than a few hours of Columbian, Mexican, and Brasilian novellas. Guess how many people of African descent I´ve seen? 1! Guess what his role was? Butler. As for the rest of the people, playing out their fictional lives on the tv, riding in cars that no one in this village will ever see, let alone drive, dining in fancy restaurants, getting breast implants, and sleeping in mansions, they all have more or less the same skin tone as I do. The only thing close to the reality of life here that is present in novellas, is infidelity. Wicked.

Thus the perception that to be white is to beautiful and rich. Since there aren´t black people in these beautiful and exclusive lives, then it must be something impossible for them. Thus little girls, wanting to be pretty and have money, telling me they wish they had my skin.

To me, this is a horrible message to be sending. Yet it is being sent, and recieved wholeheartedly, all day and night. If, during the evening hours, I stand in the middle of the street, I can here the same shows playing from all directions. I can look in each house and see everyone crammed in front of the tv, watching Catalina complain to Jessica abvout how her terrible husband refused to pay for the most expensive dress. (I love it when the power goes out, even though my house still has power. If I go outside into the total darkness I can almost escape the tv)

I understand that to them, it is a windo into a better life, and an escape from their problems. I just wish that they were seeing reality. There is a better life out there, in America and elsewhere, but it doesn´t look like a novella, and it doesn´t support the theory that skin color defines beauty and intelligence. Besides, I´d rather live here than in a novella. The music is so much better here.

As to the perception that the US is a paradise, I´m not exactly sure where it comes from. May be from family members raving about New York, tv shows, and music videos. Wherever it comes from, it is strong.

One guy, upon seeing a picture of the State Capitol building, asked me in all seriousness if it was my house. I couldn´t help but laugh, even though I was stunned. One day my friend Raul, who is an awesome guy, exposed that he had the dirt on America. ¨You know, America isn´t perfect. Not all of the buildings are tall, clean, and beautiful, and not all of the cars are either. There are even poor people.¨ I was so relieved that I smiled as he said it, throwing him off a bit. So I had to explain that I was glad he understands something closer to the reality of my country. (He still refused to let me sit on a rock, no doubt assuming that Americans are used to chairs and only chairs, and need their pants to be clean at all times.)

Even the Dominican economists have a similar view of the US. In watching a news show on the economy, I learned that the government is looking to do a bank bailout similiar to our own, in order to stabilize the economy to weather the storm. What did he say will bring an end to the storm? US policies of course! The Us, that giant country made of gold, criss-crossed by rivers of platinum and diamond, and inhabited by beautiful geniuses, will figure it out. They always do, and when they do so, they´ll fix it for us too.

I´m not to optomistic about this whole thing, though I do admit I´m out of touch with the details. The thing is that I don´t feel good about this country placing its fate in the hands of the US. (Cynics, or realists?, may say that it already was in our hands, whether they chose it or not.) Why wouldn´t you place your trust in the US, the home of beautiful, rich, white people? With time, it might even make our lives like novellas too!

Okay. Enough about that. As to myself, I am fine. I´ve been helping Idania´s brother in the Tobacco process, which is incredibly labor intensive. There is cutting, wrapping, hang drying, de stemming, smoothing, drying again, weighing, re'wrapping, packing, and storage. All of this done by hand, taking several months in total after the plant is ready to go. At the end, are the world famous cigars. I may just have to smoke one after taking part in all the other steps of the process.

I´ve also decided not to continue teaching at the school. Although, I want to help the kids learn english and french, which are importrant for getting high paying tourist jobs or immigrating, this is for the better. I´ve made a sort of break through as far as finding field work, and am really getting into researching agriculture. In the meantime I´m still teaching the neighborhood kids 5 nights a week. They, unlike the kids in Azua, actually want to learn, and I don´t need to spend half of my class time practicing my Spanish disciplining words. ex. Cierra la boca!!!!!!!

Nos vemos ahorita.